Introduction to the Devout Life

I am pleased by my newest adventure in spiritual literature. Francis de Sales’s Introduction to the Devout Life is my newest endeavor and it is, so far, the most up-front and unassuming guide to spiritual development I have read. I will be bringing more of this to my blog in the coming days.

Here’s a quick statement from the first part of the introduction: “The usual purgation and healing, whether of body or soul, takes place only little by little and by passing from one advance to another with difficulty and patience.” (36)

How comforting to know that one of the greatest thinkers and counselors of the Church cautions us to be patient with ourselves as we work toward perfection. But it’s not all fluffy–he also clearly states that one must not only begin with a general confession, but that one must fly from one’s sins, and not turn and look back as Lot once did.

Black sheepishness, or a lack thereof

Somewhere in the last year, my oldest sister (two years my junior) started acting like the black sheep of the family–sullen and silent, defensive and combative, and very, very private. The only problem is that I’m the black sheep and I’m not giving up my title: I worked too dang hard for it.

On arriving for Christmas with my family, it became clear that sis and the folks were not getting along. She was pissy, they were ignoring her. She asserted her wish to open presents on the Eve, they wanted to open on the Morn. I tried to talk to her about some of her more mysterious behaviors (hording her money, living at home for an extended period, suddenly breaking things off with her boyfriend) and all I got was emo silence, but she’s not emo, she’s a trendy, attractive, Abercrombie and Fitch kind of chick.

So what’s with the attitude? How dare she act like an outsider when I’m around! I’m the one who partied and tried drugs in college. I’m the gay. I’m the one who shopped at thrift stores and refused to go to church. I’m the one with a degree in literature. Does she know how many opportunities I had to piss away to be the black sheep of, yes count them, FOUR families? Does she know how many relatives I had to alienate? Does she know how much I spent on makeup and clothes to fill that role?

And although it’s hard to picture myself as relinquishing my title to my younger sister who never did much out of the ordinary and always tried to fit in, it’s way harder to picture her handling herself among our familes as a black sheep. I’ve done it for so long that I can handle myself. When you walk into a room and everyone suddenly grows silent, when your grandma tells you she’s praying especially hard for you, when everyone discusses you like you’re the tabloid princess of the bunch, that takes a thick hide and the ability to take punch. I’m not sure she’s ready.

Of course, I am active in my Church. I’ve long since put aside gigs in rock bands, jell-o shooters, and eyeliner. In fact, I’m even wearing slacks and a tie as I type this right after mass. When I visit my Pop this afternoon, he might tell me that I’m his favorite grandson again. And the party people in the family haven’t referenced me for years when they say “at least I’m not a freak like him!” Maybe I’ve outgrown the role of black sheep and I’m just sad to see it go.

same-sex marriage is up way too loud

When you stand on as unpopular a spot as I do in the culture war regarding gay marriage, you sooner or later get to spar with just about everyone. My gay friends don’t understand my spiritual convictions, my christian brothers and sisters don’t understand my sexuality, my dad doesn’t understand why I vote democrat, etc. Of course, the volume has been cranked up WAY TOO LOUD on this issue and no one can hear themselves think. It saddens me that so few people are taking the middle way on this issue and I am afraid that the push to legalize gay marriage is going to cause a violent backlash.

In a nutshell, I believe this: a same-sex couple should be able to share property, enjoy health benefits, and be subject to the same laws of inheritance and certain other privileges (such as hospital visits).  I do not think that there is enough data available to make a blanket judgment regarding parental/adoptive rights. However, I always believe that a child’s natural parents should be part of the child’s life so long as there is no risk of abuse to the child–this goes for hetero and same-sex couples alike.

Should it be called a marriage? No. Marriage is a sacrament and is reserved for a man and a woman who can create a special family unit with their bodies. When two men or two women can engage in sex with each other and create a child, then maybe I’ll reconsider.The difference in legal status reflects a difference in physical nature that can’t be denied.

But no matter how hard you try,no matter how many parades you attend or how clever your protest signs are, same-sex couples aren’t the same as heterosexual couples.I don’t say this out of malice, in fact, as a “gay” man, you’d think I’d want to champion the right to marry–but I don’t because it doesn’t make sense to call the relationship between a  same-sex couple a marriage, any more than it does to call my cat an artichoke. It just isn’t so.

changes

Not that my original intention of blogging about my experience of integrating my sexuality and faith has changed–au contraire. In fact, the more time and energy I spend developing my relationship with Christ and His Church, the less important that becomes and (thank God!) the more room I find in my soul for things that really matter, namely other people.

In the last year, I’ve donated time and money to the homeless. Started working with Amnesty International. Helped distribute food to those in need. Spent more time in prayer.

Now those are accomplishments, so if I spend more time focusing on that work, well I suppose that was the intention all along. After all, the blog is called “decrease” for a reason. Maybe for once in my life I’m starting to get something right. Peace!

Fight FOCA

Pro-Life? Voted for Obama? Time to pay up.

This includes me.

I voted for Obama for many reasons. Of the most important is my desire for a culture of hope rather than a culture of fear. The Bush administration has continually confronted the American people with the same old dilemma: either do this, or ELSE! Hence the Patriot Act. Hence the war in Iraq.

For me, Barack Obama represents a change from that policy. I was moved to tears by his words and reassured by his conviction that we can solve our problems if we are willing to work hard and work together. One of the elders in my Church told me I was naive to believe in such promises. Perhaps–but I prefer to call my naivete hope, and that is never wasted. However, there is still the issue of how to reconcile my pro-life position with my vote.

Just because the Democratic party has held onto an ever-expanding pro-choice platform for years is no reason to give up on the debate. Here are some easy ways to tell the Democrats that now is the time to engage the discussion on pro-life issues.

1. Write to your politicians.  All of them. You can find their contact information at the Right to Life website.

2. Contact your Catholic diocese and get involved. The US Conference of Catholic Bishops can help with that here.

3. Fight FOCA. If you don’t know what it is, then read about it. You can also get links to post on myspace or facebook.

Besides these three easy steps, being a pro-life person means exhibiting behaviors which communicate a culture of life. Spend some time with your nieces and nephews. Visit your grandparents. Talk to the teenagers in your family and let them know they can count on you for help NO MATTER WHAT. Avoid pornography. Put a bumper sticker on your car. Support Amnesty International. Volunteer to do ANYTHING. Tell someone you love them. Smile at the people you pass on the street.

For gay men and women, being pro-life doesn’t have to be inconsistent with having a positive identity. Don’t be afraid to think for yourself–you can be gay and pro-life. In fact, gay men and women are often in a unique position to make a big difference by offering more of our time, talent, and treasure, instead of spending it all on our vanity and the need for a new 150 dollar pair of shoes.

So that’s my sermon today. Life is good. All life is good.

PEACE.

slacker alert! and finnegans wake

I just wrapped up the semester from HELL. I am becoming burned out–work, work, school,  work, etc. But now that I will have some free time again, I can continue blogging. I’m also going to have more free time to start one of my life goals: reading Finnegans Wake by James Joyce.

So I apologize for not being more prolific on this here fancy bloggin’ machine, but will try to get back onto things soon enough. Peace!

Thomas Merton

I accidentally came across a dvd entitled “Merton: A Biography”. Years ago, I was very much in love with his poetry, because it made such sense to me as I was becoming a mature Catholic Christian. I do not profess to be fully matured either then or now, but I read his words during the year that made me a spiritual person. I will never forget the first time I visited Gethsemani and walked through those sacred doors–it is truly one of the most peaceful place I have ever been.

I hope to revisit Merton’s work again now that my interest in social action is beginning to take shape. I know I’m rambling but I am very tired and my brain is not my friend this evening.

Pax

God can use you

I usually don't go for this chain mail stuff but this one made me smile. Enjoy! 

GOD CAN USE YOU!!

There are many reasons why God shouldn't have called you.

But don't worry. You're in good company . . .

Moses stuttered.
David's armor didn't fit.
John Mark was rejected by Paul.
Timothy had ulcers.
Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
Jacob was a liar.
David had an affair.
Solomon was too rich.
Jesus was too poor.
Abraham was too old.
David was too young.
Peter was afraid of death.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Naomi was a widow.
Paul was a murderer.
So was Moses.
Jonah ran from God.
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Elijah was burnt out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worry-wart.
Mary was lazy.
Samson had long hair.
Noah got drunk.

Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
So did Peter, Paul -- well, lots of folks did.
But God doesn't require a job interview.
He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses, because He's more our Dad
than our Boss.
He doesn't look at financial gain or loss.
He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy,
not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need.
As much as we try, God's gifts are free.
We could do wonderful things for wonderful people and still not be . . .
Wonderful.
Satan says, "You're not worthy." Jesus says, "So what? . . .  I AM."
Satan looks back and sees our mistakes.
God looks back and sees the cross.
He doesn't calculate what you did in '98.
It's not even on the record.
Sure. There are lots of reasons why God shouldn't have called us.
But if we are magically in love with Him,
if we hunger for Him more than our next breath,
He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been,
or what we look like.
Pray that as Christians, we will step out of our limitations into the
illimitable nature of who God is.
Then our passion for God and our passion to communicate with Him will
make mincemeat of our limitations.

-- Author Unknown

The Body as Temple

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?  (I Corinthians 3:16)

I really dig this. As someone who spent his early twenties on the bar scene and hanging out with lots of artsy types and musicians, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to get acquainted with the coping mechanisms of alcohol and drugs and pornography. When I’ve used, I think it’s always been as a distraction from my loneliness and my low self-esteem, but I’m sure there have been other reasons, too.

The temptation to get numb resurfaces from time to time, and there is usually hell to pay to overcome it. This piece of scripture

helps me.

Funky mood today so that is all.